Let me just start this out by saying I am a shy person, well I used to be. Not that I am perfect in winning friends and influencing people now, but am much better at it now that it doesn’t bother me as it used to.
This may come across to you as being rudimentary or rather generic but the truth remains that this has helped me overcome and to do as nice as other people and most times better.
Work on seeing people
Clinton once said“I’ve come to believe that one of the most important things is to see people, the person who opens the door for you, the person who pours your coffee. Acknowledge them. Show them respect. The traditional greeting of the Zulu people of South Africa is ‘Sawubona’. It means ‘I see you.’ I try and do that.”
Truth is in this world of technology, most of us are oblivious to the world around us. The smiles, nods of acknowledgments, Kind gestures such as holding doors open, saying hello to strangers, keeping the elevator open, etc. This in itself makes you stand out amongst the crowd without having to show off and it just brings down the defenses of people around you and makes you likable. These are very strong gestures that mark you out as different and makes people want to communicate with you.
Avoid the “First Impression” Cliche
This common saying of “First Impression matters” should be avoided. Well yes, some get it right the first time but with the way technology is these days, your second and third impressions are just a click away. So if you need a little time to build up a relationship, take it and use that time to think of the various ways you can be of help to the person.
Best Introvert Skill
As an introvert, you are most likely proud of your observation and listening skills, that is if you have not been commended for them before. This actually gives you an edge over that extrovert who is not that observant. It’s quite a shame that people do not really listen (Deriving information from both speech and the unspoken words). So as a good observer, take notes of this information (Literarily).
Acknowledge and compliment efforts and growth
Let’s agree that “People do not change” is a myth. Why? Because people only act on what they know or believe they know. So when you add more knowledge by growing yourself, you will definitely act differently to familiar situations. SO when people make the effort to grow, make the effort to acknowledge that you see their growth and their efforts.
This has really worked for me to connect to people, grow with them in passion and still be able to influence them. You might not look the coolest or be the best orator or party rocker, but you can still win the game with your heart of gold.